The Three Times She Thought He'd Died
by theINTERSECT
Summary: Sarah reflects upon the three times she thought Chuck had died, and makes herself a promise. Set between Seasons 4 and 5. NOTE: NOT A SAD FIC  :


**A/N: Hey guys. So this is an idea I've been playing around with since the end of season 4. So this story is essentially set in between season 4 and season 5 (but really, it can be set any point after the first episode of season 4).**

**I promise you, this isn't a sad fic. (: SOO ENJOYY.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Chuck...or else I wouldn't miss it so much.**

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><p>It was 8AM. Sarah lay awake in bed, thinking about all the things that'd happened to them as a couple. How far they've come. How much he's changed her. How good she feels knowing she'll have something to fall back on once everything is over. How good it feels to be loved.<p>

And then she thought of the times that were...not so good. The times when she thought she'd lost him for good.

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><p>The first time she thought he'd died, he'd been dropped off a building by none other than Mr. Colt, a much resented mercenary after the cipher.<p>

_She knew Chuck was in trouble. She could feel it. Chuck, the roof of a building and a bad guy just didn't go together. As she ran up the final flight of stairs, she prepared herself for the worst. She busted the door open and saw Colt dangling Chuck off the edge of the building. _

'_FREEZE!' She screamed at the top of her lungs as she pointed her gun at him._

'_It ain't worth it.' He said nonchalently. And with a single movement - the flex of his hand - he let go. And Chuck fell. _

'_NOOOOOOOO.' She'd never screamed like this before in her life. She didn't know why or how or what made her do so. But she felt like she'd just lost a part of her, a part of her she didn't even know she had._

_What ain't worth it? He's worth everything to me, she thought to herself subconsiously. _

_And she did what she knew best. Fight. She ran up to him and delivered a blow to his face. Then another to his chest. Then another...she wasn't even thinking about what she was doing. All she was thinking about was Chuck. How he'd just lost his life because she failed to protect him. _

_And then her emotions got the best of her. He became too fast for her. He started returning her blows. A few kicks, a fist here and there. And in a matter of seconds, he had her pinned to the floor, in a position of virtually no escape._

_She didn't care though. She'd lost Chuck. She kept telling herself he was just an asset - she'd lost assets before. But it didn't work. Sarah realized that he was more than an asset to her. _

_She was just about to give up when she heard a voice...his voice...she thought she must have died and gone to heaven._

'_Excuse me. Excuse me. Hi.'_

_Colt loosened his grip on her neck, giving her enough space to escape his cultch. And when she turned around, she saw him. Chuck._

'_Sorry to...uhh...sorry to interrupt whatever's going on here, but uhh...Mr Colt, I just wanted you to meet my team.' He paused. 'Tell me something. Do you find them imposing? Go ahead, you can be honest. I was going for imposing.'_

'_Chuck.' She heard herself whispering in awe. How was he still alive?_

'_Carmichael. Agent Carmichael. Maybe you can go ahead and put your weapons down.' No one moved. Everyone had just witnessed him fall off the building. How was it that he hadn't died?_

'_I SAID PUT YOUR WEAPONS DOWN. AHH..there you go, there you go. And then the hands up to imply that your hands are empty.'_

_She knew it wasn't the time to let her emotions get the best of her, but she felt something. Maybe it was a tinge of love? Did she love him? She didn't know. She was confused. She'd never loved anyone before. She didn't know how it felt. _

_She walked up to him, still panting from the fight, but relieved that he was okay._

'_Don't worry, I'm fine.' He didn't even allow her to ask him. He didn't want her to worry. He was such the gentleman, making her more compromised than ever before. _

_She didn't know what to say. But it was still a mission, so she decided to stick to the plan, the original purpose. 'Do you have the cipher? Please tell me you have it.'_

_She added the last sentence so he wouldn't suspect anything. Anything along the lines of her maybe having feelings for him. Falling for him. _

'_Course I have it. It's me.'_

_She breathed a sigh of relief. Not just because he had the cipher, but because he was okay. Because he was safe. Because she hadn't lost him. There was still hope...hope that one day, before she lost him, she'd be able to...she didn't even want to finish the sentence._

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><p>The second time she thought he'd died, he was saving the lives of Morgan and the president.<p>

_When she got there, she saw Casey staring off into the distance. Chuck was no where to be seen. 'Where's Chuck?' _

'_Heroic imbecile took off with the bomb.' He muttered under his breath. 'Get out of there, Bartowski.'_

_She followed Casey's glance, and saw Chuck's nerd herd car speeding off into the distance. 'Oh my gosh, Chuck.'_

_A train passed by, blocking the view of the car. She started running after the car. Various thoughts began rushing through her mind - the fact that...she couldn't bring herself to think that._

_The train had finally finished passing by, and she could see the car again. She pushed her legs harder, willing herself to run faster. _

_Then it happened. The very thing she was dreading. It blew up. Chuck's car blew up._

_She jumped back in horror. She raised her hands to her chest in shock. Her eyes welled up. She wanted to scream. Scream out in anger. Scream out in frustration. Scream out in agony. Scream I LOVE YOU to him, hoping he'd be able to hear it before he died. But she couldn't. At least not temporarily. She was so choked up she couldn't speak. _

'_That was pretty sweet, huh?' _

_I must be hearing things, she thought to herself. This can't be. I must be so delirious that I'm hearing things. _

_She turned around and saw Chuck walking towards her with a remote control. The remote control that controlled the car. She wanted to launch herself at him and slap him at the same time, but she couldn't. She couldn't bring herself to do either. All she could do was sob. _

'_What?' Chuck stuttered innocently. It then hit him. She thought he'd died. 'You didn't think that I was...' He looked down at the remote control in his hands. 'No. I was just using the - '_

_Before he could finish the sentence, Casey came in and snatched the controller off him. 'Gimme that.'_

_Sarah struggled to compose herself. I'd been two close calls. And she didn't know what she'd do without him. His caring and observant nature, his nerdy jokes and references...she knew she was in love. But she couldn't bring herself to admit it in front of him. She couldn't risk it. She'd rather live in agony than be seperated from him._

'_Sorry.' Chuck pulled an apologetic face. Sarah had no choice but to walk away, no matter how much her heart refused._

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><p>The third time she thought he'd died, he was on his way to save her - being the great hero he was.<p>

_She and Casey had been taken captive by Volkoff's men. They were trapped and surrounded, with no way to escape. _

_Marco had just shown them multiple pictures of Chuck and Morgan. Why did they have pictures of them? She hoped that they were safe._

'_We've got them. They're in the building.' Just the words she was dreading._

'_Must have come for you.' Marco smirked. 'Well, that's their first mistake. This entire building is a trap.' He picked up the walkie-talkie._ _'So, you want to speak to your friend?'_

_Sarah knew speaking to Chuck would blow all their covers, but she would rather that then him being killed. _

'_Chuck, what's going on. What are you doing in here?' _

'_Sarah, I know you must have a lot of questions for me right now and I promise I will explain everything later...'_

'_Chuck, you've gotta flash. You've gotta get out of here - ' Marco pulled the walkie-talkie away from her._

'_Oh enough.'_

_No. He couldn't. He can't do this. 'NO. PLEASE.' She begged. 'This is a big mistake. He's not a spy.'_

'KILL THEM.'

She hoped they had sufficient time to escape. She hoped they'd already escaped.

'_No, please, NO.'_

_She heard the sound of guns firing._

'_CHUCK!' She screamed, her voice breaking. She began spiralling. Tears began streaming down her cheeks. _

'_We'll, it all seems a bit anticlimatic...'_

She could sense that Casey was mad too. 'I'm gonna tear you limb from limb from limb...'

_It felt as if time had halted to a stop. It felt like eternity had passed by until she heard the word: 'HELLO?'_

_His voice. It's always his voice that surprises her. That makes her shudder...shudder in excitment. That re-ignites the spark of hope in her. _

_And all she needed to know was that he is alive. And that he is still there for her, and will always be until the very end._

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><p>As she wrapped up the final memory, she felt herself subconsciously snuggling closer to Chuck - nearer and nearer until it was physically impossible to get any closer. His eyes fluttered open, and he wrapped his arms around her, leaned in and gave her a kiss.<p>

'Morning.'

And as she stared into those mesmorizing chocolate brown eyes, full of love, hope, promise and happiness, she promised herself there was not going to be a fourth time.

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><p><strong>AN: THANKS FOR READING! Please leave me a review (: I'd like to know whether I did well or not...and maybe tips for improvement (:**

**I'm still working on my other stories...school's a bit hectic nowadays...Year 12...IB's hell. But yeah. Surviving through it. Just barely :P**


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